Weight Loss Begins TODAY!!!

For as long as I can remember, I've always been labeled as the skinny girl. The girl who always made others sick because instead of not being able to lose weight, I was never able to gain weight. Before now, the most I had ever weighed outside of pregnancy was 135 lbs. I looked good back then. I had a little butt, some meat on my bones, and I was confident.

Back in high school, I weighed 105 lbs soaking wet. Everyone always gave me grief because I was too skinny so I decided to get on the Depo Provera  birth control shot because I'd heard that people gained weight on it. I started the shot in May of my sophomore year and when I can back to school in August, I had gained almost 15 lbs. I couldn't help smiling when  people told me how much better I looked.

When I got pregnant with my daughter, I weighed 120 lbs.  At the end of my pregnancy, I weighed 165. A week after I had Autumn I weighed about 135 lbs. Today I am not much less than what I weighed when I was at the end of my pregnancy. As a result of my weight gain that has occcured within the past year and a half, I am no longer confident, I don't feel pretty anymore, and none of my clothes fit.

I am sick of looking in the mirror and not liking what I see. I am sick of going through my closet and not being able to wear any of my cute clothes anymore and I'm sick of always wearing t-shirts. I am SICK of being asked if I am pregnant and knowing damn well I look about 7 months along. But most of all, I'm sick of bitching about it and not doing anything at all. 

I can't blame my weight gain on having a child like most people can. I can't blame it on anyone but myself because I did it. I'm determined to lose this weight and lose it as fast as possible without being unhealthy. It just makes me sad because all of my life, I have been able to eat whatever I want and not worry about any consequences occuring. I have no excuses anymore. I have no reason not to lose weight.

I want to be sexy again. I want to get those looks from guys again because whether you're in a relationship or not, you know it's always nice to get stared at or know someone is looking. It's not being cocky, it's being confident. And I have always been confident... until now. 

So here I go. I'm making a change. I have never been able to stick to a diet or exercise before but I have to do this. I have to feel pretty again. The depressive slump I have been in for almost a year now isn't cutting it. I have to do this for me, but most of all I have to do this for my daughter because she is suffering from my depression too!

MY GOAL:


I WANT TO LOSE TEN POUNDS A MONTH UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY. I plan on doing this by:

1. Drinking lots of water. I just looked on an online calculator and I need to be drinking about 3 liters of water a day. That's a lot of damn water, but I am determined!

2. Eating small meals. As you all know, I love to cook. And I don't cook healthy. That has to change. My fiance is going to hate me for this, but it will benefit us all in the end.

3. NO MORE SWEETS, DAMMIT! I'm not a big sweets eater anymore anyway, but when I want something I go for it. I guess that calls for more:

4. SELF CONTROL. You have no idea how hard it is for me to learn self control. Whether it's me opening my mouth for something I shouldn't be so opinionated about or eating whatever I want, I've got to to learn to have more self control.

5.  NO MO' BEER! I mean it man. That's probably why my belly is so big. When I get off of work, I like to have a beer or two. I also like to go out and have a few beers with my friends. I'm changing this starting today. A beer every once in a while is alright. I will not be doing it several times a week anymore.  (Man, I hope I can stick to that one!)

So there. Those are my goals. I also plan on exercising as much as possible. And any kind of exercise would be an improvement from the lack of which I am accomplishing now.

I am hoping that by my birthday I will weight between 120-130 lbs.

So it starts now!

LET'S DO IT!